"You need a reminder once in a while that life isn't as immediate and primal as your amygdala might have you think." life. is. crazy.I just finished my THIRD YEAR of college. Like, two days ago!
If you can't tell, my tone is one of utter disbelief and confusion. The reason why I'm so confused isn't because I'm absolutely terrible at school and am surprised I actually made it (though it is a factor), but rather because I'm yet a year closer to being thrown into the grips of life and ministry without a safety net like school in the fall to retreat to. Besides school though, life is still busy. If you've seen recent updates to my website, you'll notice a few things: 1) I have the honour of helping Movement Church Abbotsford in their ministries as they grow, 2) I only recently figured out that I have a solid income this summer working with people I love, which I'm stoked about, and 3) I'm still a total nut who can't make up her mind on what to do with life. 😉
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Layers"To fully submit ourselves, we have to peel off the layers of our own intentions and agenda, and submit to God's will" Like peeling clothing from our bodies before going to bed, God sometimes requires us to peel our motivations, desires, and agenda away from ourselves to yield to Him. Achieving humility can be discussed as essential to being a good person, or essential to success, or just a sign of weakness. But God requires us to humble ourselves (1 Peter 5:6) so that we can be lifted up for Him through Him. When we have our own intentions and motivations in the way, we refrain from letting go of anything, and therefore believe that we are the masters of our own fate (Invictus by William Ernest Henley). Layers upon layers upon layers of protection, coping mechanisms, and innate desires are what hold us up and keep us moving through this sly world; but God calls us to strip them away. Something I learned recently (as you're probably tired by now of hearing in my other blog posts), is that God moves in unexpected ways, regardless of rules, in a near-reckless way. You know when God just completely hi-jacks your plans and makes you wait for Him to fill in the blanks? Isn't that just the greatest time!? Here's some context for you: I just refused a financially sound job that would make sense, would sustain Aiden and I, and would be risk-free, all for an opportunity with basically no money involved, that is completely dependent on whatever the Spirit has in mind. I'm beyond confused, scared, and excited all at once. Oh, Cr*p.Oh, cr*p is right. Excuse the profanity, but there's no turning off of these 'crazy rails' now. When you're chasing the beckoning of the Holy Spirit, there are no rules on what He's allowed to do and what you can expect.
HOLY CORGI, these past two weeks have been so busy I've hardly had a moment to breathe.
It's okay though, I promise you I'm not dying or spiraling or anything; though it is interesting how crazy its been. A shortlist for you would include job interviews, gearing up in assignments and studying for the end of my second semester, trying my very best (usually) to keep my house semi-inhabitable, and all of the above. Anyways, I won't ramble your ear off with the busy college life; but I will check in with you on a challenge I've received through it! |
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