PANICThe whole world seems to be on fire right now - everyone hiding away and acting out of self-preservation in fear of disease. This year has truly been one of catastrophe and shock.
As the news has spread word of COVID19 as a ‘pandemic,’ families flock to stores to buy out as much toilet paper, meat, and baby formula as possible. The sad part? They’re not using the formula for babies... it’s a replacement for milk at the expense of actual babies who’s parents can find a lick of formula on the shelves to feed. People are terrified and the media is flexing; where does our help come from in this situation?
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Values'Tis the season for going over personal values! My church has been going over their values as a sermon series, I have friends who are redefining personal values, and even I, myself, have been discerning the importance of values and what it is that I envision character-wise looking forward. Aside from that, I've been pondering this as the next step in the "Inner Peace" series, but more specifically, I've been tackling what it means to actually represent personal values instead of what they are. I think often it's much easier to talk about what we believe in than actually enact it with coherence and intention, and the same applies to personal values: talk is cheap, let's get real.
I'm back!
I'm home from a restful break in Oliver, and rolling back into the next semester at full speed. Man alive, there has been a lot of passion-testing and development this season, which is exactly what I want to talk about today. Have you ever come out of a busy time that keeps your senses on high alert and your productivity at max capacity, just to crash and burn emotionally? That's a fairly common experience, especially in our industrialized culture that capitalizes on time and productivity. We're all working hard for something all whilst nurturing the maturing dream that hangs on our backs. We all want to see our dreams come to fruition and 'leave the nest' so to speak, as well as remain relevant in this driven culture. What comes in the way? The fog. This mysterious emotional deterrent from passion and vigor is exactly what I want to talk about today, and I'd love for you to ponder it with me. It's funny, somehow, that we each fight so intensely for a place.
We fight eachother, we fight life, we fight circumstance; we fight virtually anything that we perceive to stand in our way, or somehow devalue us. We find ourselves fighting against every unique challenging thing, regardless of its nature, and spend so much time scrutinizing each of them for potential threats. We spend so much time striving against the passing clouds of circumstance that we forget what kind of unmoving foundation we're rooted in. If you're an Enneagram type 4, like me, you know the fight for individual worth and you know it well. So much time used in the vacant land of the mind to put situations and people on the court stand for their true thoughts of our own individuality, weighing polarized either to assurance or opposition. I certainly have a knack for wasting time in the clouds of discernment. The truth is that each of us are uniquely made, and offer individually specific things to the world. But how can we press forward in offering our uniquely created selves to impact others without speculating our allies and our axis? As I sit here, at my plant-crowded desk, wondering what to type onto this page and listening to sweet, sweet Latin music of which I can't understand a word, I can't help but feel a lack of control. But it's not a scary lack of control, it's more of a sweet surrender. A surrender that comes from basking in the unpredictable and indecipherable happenings of now. You see, there's a flood of emotions that comes with transition and change, but a deep peace as well.
The change I'm talking about is a simple one in my life, it's basically routine: school is in. It's away from full-time ministry and back into training and classes. Which is all fine and dandy, except that I feel that the person I was, the influencer and the leader that was cultivated within myself is at stake. I've spent thousands of tears, terrified of losing my current stability and health, longing for the people I won't be able to see again for months in the busyness, and petrified of waiting longer. But like I said, I feel a sweet, sweet peace. DEA in your TLCToday's post is about health. I know I don't usually write things about physical or practical health so much as I do spiritual or mental health, but recently I've taken light to a new trend of healthy and natural cosmetic/hygiene products. I used to think that this whole movement was a bit of a fad designed to make women pay more for their makeup remover just because, but I've learned that actually, governing agents that claim to filter out 'unsafe products' don't do their job as well as we'd hope they do.
There is power in the name of Jesus to break every chain, break every chain, to break every chain. - Tasha Cobbs Seeing is believingDo you ever notice how difficult it is to be ever mindful of what’s going on through our minds? It’s so difficult to keep track of exactly what cycle or state you’re in - especially when you can outwardly spectate over what mindset you’re in. I find it a weakness as well as a strength to be self-aware; a strength in the sense that awareness and introspection leads to growth, but a weakness in the sense that I then hold everyone else up to the same light. The fact that I do this really isn't fair, if you look at it objectively. It's not fair because people have different methods of learning, not everyone needs to constantly self-analyse to excel in self-development.
Long time, no see! Miss me!?
Oh man, I can't even begin to go on about how full life has been lately, it's been so, so good, but full. So my apologies for going AWOL for like a week and a half, I hope you've all been doing super well! viva las vegas, baby.Whew! That really was an awesome trip! From gulfing down one of the biggest burgers I've seen at the Hard Rock Cafe and flinging through the New York New York roller coaster track, to somberly observing cadavers at the Real Bodies exhibit at Bally's, this trip was full.
We got to experience a lot of things that we don't during normality, the Michael Jackson ONE show by Cirque certainly being one of them, and what I learned really was that you can live off of facades; but you will never grow. "Well that's fascinating, how in the reeking farmyard did you come to that conclusion, Rebekah?" I know, I know; I should simply be thankful for this experience and move on, but like basically everything else I witness, I'm going to dig this baby up. I really did enjoy my time in Vegas, it was seriously fun, and I'm super glad I had the opportunity to go; but my growth in all of it stems from the issue of superficiality: how long can you live distracted? “Use the wings of the flying Universe, choice is optionalYou know it's funny, I didn't really expect to feel overwhelmed in the slightest this summer with all that I have going on - but the truth of the matter is that it is a little overwhelming... If I let it be.
See, I spent my entire week running all over the place, in meetings, postponing appointments, and getting started on fundraisers and other programs I'm helping to run, and not once did I look at it in the moment with distaste or ungratefulness. Now, I could've been salty if I wanted to - especially because of the feelings of worry and immediacy that flooded in through my ears after I got off shift or out of a meeting, but honestly I'm just thankful for the beautiful things I get to be apart of this summer. This outlook did not come unhelped, in fact, it was due to external help. |
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